i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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