Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
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