if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
