Welp...herpes.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
