who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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