brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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