lets start a swedish sibling band together
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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