Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
