I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
