but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
