i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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