look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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