that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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