I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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