For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
