the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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