her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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