Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
