We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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