i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
