he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
