The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Randomize
