I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
