if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
