he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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