you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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