How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
