We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
