i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Randomize