i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
