Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
