we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
