Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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