you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
