Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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