what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
