uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Randomize
