Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize