First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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