its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
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