Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I love having hate sex.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
whose parrot is this?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
