The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
