Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
