Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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