Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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