Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
