I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize