nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
