I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
