oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
