I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
