i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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