Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i love accidental penises.
Dignity is for republicans.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
