Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
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