Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize