if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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