yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize