you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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