This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
