hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
