Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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