we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
handjob tips. give me some.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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